Navigating college without a roadmap

Mr. and Mrs. Y graduated from UH Mānoa without memories of football games or late-night campus parties. What they remember is trying to make it work.

“We didn’t start college right after high school,” Mrs. Y says. “We were both 22 when we began. We had already lived a little.”

They met in their first year, married soon after, and welcomed their first child while still students. Hard work and persistence characterized their college years. “We were raising a family and doing everything ourselves,” says Mr. Y. “There was no roadmap.”

Both worked part-time while carrying full course loads. Work-study jobs helped them stay enrolled, along with grants, scholarships and whatever support they could pull together during lean years.

Mr. Y says, “Any time aid came through, it mattered. Even small amounts. Especially then.”

Acceptance letters and approvals brought moments of relief, a confirmation that someone, somewhere, believed they could keep going.

“One scholarship came from a woman who created a fund for students in my field,” Mr. Y says. “I had to maintain a certain GPA. When I received the assistance, I remember thinking, ‘Someone is out there looking out for students like me.’ That stayed with me.”

Memories of Mānoa

The Ys agree that their fondest memories of their time at Mānoa were the relationships they formed. “The best part was the people we met,” says Mr. Y. “Classmates, faculty, the folks we worked with.” These connections helped them feel less alone during demanding times.

After graduating in 1981, they absorbed themselves in careers, children and responsibilities. Then, last November, a Giving Tuesday message caught their attention.

“Hearing students’ stories took me right back,” Mr. Y says. “All these memories came back — how hard it was, how much help mattered. I told Mrs. Y, ‘I think we should give,’ because I remember how it felt to be on the other side.”

Their gift was an expression of gratitude for support they received as a young family decades ago. The couple chooses to remain anonymous in their giving.

“We’re just regular people,” Mrs. Y says. “This isn’t about us.”

It’s about students doing their best under real circumstances, juggling work, family, finances and hope.

Building meaningful connections

Mr. and Mrs. Y are clear about what matters, and what still makes a difference for students today. “If you’re getting close to graduation, start building relationships,” says Mrs. Y. “Human relationships. Get to know people.”

This includes classmates, faculty and colleagues, as well as mentors on campus or in the broader community.

Mr. Y says, “Nothing is more important than the relationships you build and develop.”

“Don’t be discouraged,” Mrs. Y says. “We’re always living in challenging times. Be confident in your ability. Develop your network. Find mentors.”

Donations go farther than you can imagine

As UH Giving Day approaches, the Ys hope their story reminds fellow alumni that generosity doesn’t require a milestone or a spotlight.

Mr. Y says, “If you’re thinking about giving, know that you are not just helping people but also giving students real hope for the future. We know for a fact that a few short years of assistance can pay a lifetime of dividends.”

“Challenges are always there,” Mrs. Y says, “but so are people willing to help.”